The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka?
Forever.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize