Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize