I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
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My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
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All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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