I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize