i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
