dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
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She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
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He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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