His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
