There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i am craving dick and cupcakes
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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