I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
