She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize