so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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