I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
