on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
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Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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