Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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