guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize