I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I will pee on everything he values.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
