school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
