so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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