I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
