Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
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when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
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candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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