I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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