Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
