Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Randomize
