You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
