So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
