I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
