Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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