Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
