sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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