i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
