Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
