I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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