Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
