I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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