Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
