apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize