oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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