dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
