I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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