There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
