even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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