i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
