i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
