then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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