just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
