need another drink. this is the easiest way
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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