just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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