I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
