I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
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It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
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He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
ok first of all what the fuck
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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