the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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