Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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