We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
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Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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