Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
