so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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