i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
