Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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