I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
