My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
