Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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